Overcoming “Social Eating Anxiety”
Recently, I have been hearing the term "social eating anxiety." As the name suggests, it refers to the fear or inability to eat in the presence of others.
Long before I developed depression and panic disorder, I suffered from this condition for many years. However, when I overcame my depression and anxiety disorders, this symptom also disappeared, and it has not returned since.
In this article, I would like to focus on "social eating anxiety" and share how I managed to overcome it.
What Was My Condition Like?
What exactly is "social eating anxiety"?
Let me share my experience as a university student. Whenever I tried to have lunch with friends in the school cafeteria, I would suddenly feel extremely nervous, experience nausea, and find myself unable to swallow my food.
This condition did not appear suddenly; rather, there were signs leading up to it.
Since childhood, I moved frequently, and every time I entered a new environment, I would experience stomach pain and loss of appetite. At school, I often struggled to eat my lunch, but due to the social pressure of “not wasting food”, I forced myself to eat.
At home, I felt at ease without these pressures, but at school, lunchtime became a source of great distress. Over time, as I adjusted to my new environment, my symptoms would improve, but each time I moved, the same issues would return.
By the later years of high school, I was chronically experiencing nausea at lunchtime and could only manage to eat one or two rice balls. This pattern continued into university, where I survived on small portions of noodles in the cafeteria.
I chose noodles because they were easier to swallow due to their small quantity and broth. However, intense anxiety and nausea sometimes left me unable to take more than a bite or two. Even when I was alone, I experienced the same symptoms in restaurants due to the presence of others.
I also developed additional worries—would my slow eating draw attention? Would I ruin the atmosphere for my friends? Would it be rude to leave food unfinished? These thoughts made me even more anxious.
At some point, the anxiety became so overwhelming that I completely lost my ability to eat in front of others. Restaurants and cafeterias became impossible places for me to enter. Even approaching them made my body feel cold, weak, and nauseous.
To avoid the discomfort, I sometimes skipped lunch entirely. However, this led to dizziness from hunger. Since I could eat normally at home, I would sometimes leave school early just to eat in private.
This situation took a toll on my mental health. I worried that if I couldn't even perform a basic function like eating, I might never be able to live a normal life. It affected my friendships, prevented me from dating, and severely damaged my self-confidence.
Some may wonder why I didn’t seek medical help.
As a child, I was taken to internal medicine doctors for my poor appetite, but medical tests always came back normal. I was prescribed digestive medicine, but it had little effect.
When I was diagnosed with depression in university, psychiatric medication allowed me to eat small portions with friends, but the distress remained. Increasing the dosage didn’t significantly improve my condition.
Looking back, my "social eating anxiety" lasted for many years, possibly due to an inherent sensitivity in my body. I even resigned myself to the idea that it would never improve.
However, as I mentioned earlier, when I overcame depression and panic disorder, this symptom also vanished. Next, I will explain how that happened.
How Did I Overcome It?
Despite medication having little effect, I found a turning point that led to my recovery. That turning point was Qigong (a form of Chinese energy exercise).
I started practicing Qigong as an alternative method after struggling with the side effects of psychiatric medication. After some time, I noticed a major change during a visit to a restaurant.
Previously, just stepping into a restaurant triggered my automatic reaction—cold sweats, weakness, and nausea. However, after practicing Qigong, I was able to enter a restaurant without those symptoms appearing.
One possible reason is that Qigong promotes a warm, circulating flow of energy throughout the body, allowing for deep relaxation. Before, my body’s energy felt stagnant, which contributed to my symptoms. Through Qigong, I learned that energy flow plays a key role in physical and emotional well-being.
Another effect of Qigong was shifting from shallow, anxiety-driven chest breathing to deep, natural abdominal breathing. This improved my digestion and allowed me to feel hunger more naturally. That day, for the first time in years, I was able to finish an entire meal at a restaurant.
This may sound normal to most people, but for me, it was a groundbreaking experience. Even today, I vividly remember that moment.
After this experience, I continued practicing Qigong and successfully repeated these positive eating experiences. Over time, my automatic fear response disappeared.
Through Qigong, I also realized that my symptoms occurred when my body’s energy was concentrated in my head (causing tension and overthinking). When I learned to shift this energy downward to my lower abdomen, I became more relaxed and no longer felt anxiety.
Eventually, I reached a point where I no longer needed Qigong to maintain my well-being. However, the understanding I gained through the practice continues to help me. Additionally, I developed my own breathing techniques, which further supported my recovery.
Previously, I believed my weak appetite was an unchangeable part of my body’s nature. However, I was able to overcome it completely by addressing the root cause—energy imbalance.
Interestingly, this same principle helped me recover from depression and panic disorder as well. In all cases, my symptoms were linked to the rise of energy in my head, and bringing it down naturally alleviated my distress.
Final Thoughts
As I mentioned earlier, my "social eating anxiety" was accompanied by obsessive thoughts about how others perceived me. However, as I learned to keep my energy grounded, I naturally stopped overthinking, and those anxious thoughts faded on their own.
Another factor that may have contributed to my recovery was learning to become less affected by external influences. I developed a mental approach to maintaining emotional stability, which helped reduce my concern about others’ opinions.
These methods are discussed in more detail in my other articles (→article), so feel free to check them out if you're interested.
That concludes my story of how I overcame social eating anxiety.
Final Message
What do you think about my experience?
My symptoms persisted for a long time, but by chance, I discovered Qigong, which led to my recovery. Since then, I have never relapsed and now enjoy eating with others.
I hope this article can provide some insight or encouragement for those struggling with similar issues.
Author: Motohiro Hiiragi